Who Says We Have To Be Happy All the Time?

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Title : Who Says We Have To Be Happy All the Time?
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Who Says We Have To Be Happy All the Time?

by Lynn Newman
Tiny Buddha

"Develop a mind that is vast like water, where the pleasant and unpleasant experiences of both may come and disappear without conflict, struggle, or damage. Resting on a vast mind like water ". ~ Buddha

When I think have to be happy all the time, I feel a certain kind of pressure. Of course, now it was different then. But that does not mean that there are cycles when I question everything.

Sometimes I catch myself thinking that everything would fall into place magically if I had all the success I want in my career, happy relationship ever after without any problems, or anything else that apparently they need.


pretty happy I do not care, I'm out there as a radiant light around the world saw and I loved my glow.

is a noble desire. I can envy those who seem happy all the time and seemingly have it all together. The problem is, it's a dream of perfection. On a day when I do not feel happy or like a dark cloud is going through my head, I feel like I've failed in life.

The pressure to be happy really makes me unhappy . And when I feel sadness or pain or depression, I can fear that it will never go away. I worry about the prize reach this beautiful big happy life is not mine to have in the first place.

Here are three things I've learned to get through the lows that have helped change the way I see my life and myself.

1. the moments of real connection often stem to recognize our struggles.

sometimes when I was in the dumps I wanted to hide and isolate myself. But shared moments of love connection have not always happen when I was my happiest.

When I look at my closest friends, I realize what helped form them strong and supportive relationships were by moments of shared vulnerability.

true intimacy came when I revealed what I was feeling or what I was going, opening to a deeper emotional honesty.

Do not be afraid to share the truth of what passed for another person allowed me further. And because of this, others felt safer to be real with me. Do not worry I judge myself by how they felt on any given day and I would have compassion.

It is the heart, where the real connection, not only in moments of shared laughter and happiness. And forming a bond of love through difficult times gave us more appreciation for the shared joys that arise.

I learned how to do this, but not be a victim mentality. If I shared what I was feeling with a sense of need or desire of the other to help me, fix me, save me, it was harder to be near me.

But if I shared with a sense of responsibility 100 percent of my feelings and problems, others hoped I would take care of myself without having to do anything for me.

could say, "I'm having a difficult time and this is what I'm learning about myself . "

My intention for self-awareness and interest to solve my own problems humbly gave people the space to be with me without feeling overwhelmed.

and this change (although not expected) allowed reciprocity.

2. peaceful acceptance is more important, and more sustainable than happiness.

I can be hard on myself.

This idea of ​​a perfect life, unless messy, confused, scared, and feel small makes those days when I'm down much harder.

Now, just left those dark days are. Or more than that, I know that despite those times suck royalty, I'm growing.

Now, I focus on what can make me feel at peace instead of happy. There is much more space below to get stronger and bring back the fire that seems to have left.

Yo-to-earth, simple things that bring me joy like knitting, reading a good novel, watching a play, or take a long walk in a different neighborhood.

These little moments of taking the easy day and allowing gracefully brings me inner balance, what I discovered I am most needed in this type of down-and-outs.

Just relax and take the strain helps to feel more present, alive and clear. And that is more sustaining of, euphoric euphoric states can have when something big happens for me.

Such super-over-the-top moments are fleeting happy and transient. They go through soon as you return to everyday life.

The creation of peace rather than strive for constant happiness gets me off the hook. Free drama, stress and anxiety, take it easy, even if I still feel bad state. So, I'm even keel and that's a beautiful feeling.

It's really kind of restoration. Actually, I have to do anything or do anything to be happy. I just got to be me.

3. periods of uncertainty passed, but it is the way that preserved in the present what matters most.

I have learned that I can feel down when I do not feel the way or when I'm sure what's next.

not knowing what will happen, I can fear I'll be stuck in the mud, not sure, unlovable, and not enough.

the space in between is uncomfortable and disturbing. If I'm not at the point, motivated, or as I am doing what I want immediately, it occurs to me that I failed in life.

As an artist, I can worry about my next creative project will not come or fear that I'll never fall in love again.

This kind of future thinking is the death of my happiness, because I think there's something wrong with me for not having it all figured out.

what I do in these times is. . . nothing great.

I focus on the consolidation of myself and find the easiest thing I can do. Apply what is gentle, loving and kind. I ask my spirit what you need instead of my ego that is fighting for happiness.

I accept it as a time to go within instead of seeking pleasure without-a sweet moment to restore and regenerate, giving myself space to prepare internally for the new.

The truth is that there are sometimes slow-moving streams and still pools, and can not force a river, no matter how much I love .

my learning is not running away from my feeling of emptiness, but to loosen the grip and relax in the hole. As a trapeze artist let go of a stick and get to the next, trust is in this space that the new is discovered.

I try to meet the passages without forcing anything. By taking tender steps toward my efforts, I would side beauty arise according to their own pace.

Somehow I'm more free even if I happen to be unhappy. I know it's not really the truth of my being. And that's a very cool thing.

(A little 'something that makes me happy ...)

What gives a sense of peaceful life? How can you connect more with others? How could satisfy transition cultivate a sense of "easy"? And how could all this will give more permission to be?

Be happy image via Shutterstock

"Who Says We Have To Be Happy All the Time?", article source: riseearth.com


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