Title : Top Things Truely Happy People Do
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Top Things Truely Happy People Do
I have learned many things in my lifetime, and unfortunately, most people who sit and wait for their "happiness" to fall into their lap, will never see it happen. Approximately 50% of your happiness is determined by personality traits that are largely hereditary, so half of how happy you feel is basically beyond your control.
But, before you give up on happiness completely, you need to remember that means 50% of your happiness is completely within your control, such as relationships, health, career, etc. Even if you're genetically predisposed to be a Debbie Downer, you can still do things to lift your spirits and make yourself a lot happier, and below are some awesome recommendations to live by.
Actively Pursue Your Goals
Goals that you don't pursue are dreams, and dreams only make you happy when you're dreaming. When you pursue your goals, the act will make you happy. David Niven, the author of 100 Simple Secrets of the Best Half of Life states:
People who could identify a goal they were pursuing, were 19% more likely to feel satisfied with their lives and 26% more likely to feel positive about themselves.
Try to always be grateful for what you have, but actively work to achieve more. If you're pursuing a huge goal, make sure that every time you take a small step closer to achieving it, you pat yourself on the back. This way you get a lot of bite-size chunks of fulfillment and happiness. Also, don't compare yourself where you are today, with where want to be someday, instead compare where you are now, to where you were a few days ago.
Do What You Do Well, As Often As You Can
Clearly the more you enjoy what you do, the more fulfilled you will feel by what you do, and the happier you will be. In The Happiness Advantage, Shawn Anchor said that when volunteers picked one of their signature strengths and used it each day for a week, they became significantly happier and less depressed.
Unfortunately, it's unreasonable to think everyone can change their life entirely, and only do what they love, but you can find ways to do more of what you excel at. Take time out for yourself and be a little selfish. Pursue a hobby you love, take a class about it to learn more, or maybe learn something completely new that you have always been interested in. Everyone has a few things they do well, so find ways to do those things more often. You'll be a lot happier, and probably a lot more successful.
Keep Good, REAL Friends...ditch the fakes.
In today's world of social media, many are looking for people to collect. It's easy to focus on building personal, as well as professional networks of friends, partners, customers, employees, connections, etc., because there is hopefully a payoff. Typically the payoff is a feeling of acceptance and popularity, with very little substance. To some, increasing their number of friends correlates to higher feeling of well being, but there's MORE of a definite payoff to making real friends, not just social media acquaintances.
"Real Friends" are people who are there for you in your moment of need, and are happy for you when you are doing well. They support you and tell you the truth, they keep your secrets, and don't talk negatively about you behind your back. They do not hide their true selves from you, and you can be your true self with them.
If that's not enough to make you go out and build better friendships, you may want to know that people who do not have strong social relationships are 50% less likely to survive at any given time, than those who do. (A scary thought for loners.) So make GOOD, real friends. You'll live a longer, happier life.
Readily Express Thankfulness
One thing I am very diligent about is thanking those in my life who I appreciate. From the waitress who brought me lunch, to the lady at Macy's who helped me find the correct size of boots. Always try to express gratitude for other's help and hard work, as it makes you, as well as the other person feel good and creates a connection. In fact, the researchers at Harvard who studied gratitude found it can improve relationships.
One study of couples found that individuals who took time to express gratitude for their partner not only felt more positive toward the other person but also felt more comfortable expressing concerns about their relationship. Managers who remember to say “thank you” to people who work for them, find that those employees feel motivated to work harder.
Happy people also focus on what they have, not on what they don't. Sure it's motivating (and human) to want more, but thinking about what you already have, and expressing gratitude for it makes you a lot happier than focusing on what you don't. It also reminds you that even if you still have huge dreams, you have already accomplished a lot, and that you should genuinely feel proud.
Give, Give, Give
While giving is usually considered unselfish, giving can also be more beneficial for the giver than the receiver. Providing social support may be more beneficial than receiving it, and I know this for a fact. I am also pretty sure that most people also get this point of view, because it feels awesome to help someone who needs it. Not only is helping those in need fulfilling, it's also a reminder of how fortunate we are, which is a nice reminder of how thankful we should be for what we already have and show gratitude, so giving actually works in tow different ways to make us happier.
Don't Single-Mindedly Chase "Stuff"
Money is important, and does a lot of things, but after a certain point, money doesn't make people happier. Money doesn't buy more (or less) happiness. We need to do what matters most to our emotional well-being, such as spending time with people we enjoy, avoiding pain and disease, and taking some leisure time. But the materialistic drive and satisfaction with life are negatively related, so in other words, chasing possessions tends to make you less happy.
Think of it as "the bigger house syndrome". You want a bigger house, and you need a bigger house so you buy it. Life is awesome... until a couple months later when your bigger house is now just your house. New always becomes normal. So many people turn to "Retail Therapy", but that only lasts for a short period of time. "Things" provide only momentary bursts of happiness. To be happier, don't chase as many things, chase experiences instead.
Live Life How You Want To Live It
When carer Bronnie Ware wrote a blog in 2009 that listed the five things that most haunted her terminally ill patients, she had no idea it would become an internet sensation and transform her life. Bronnie Ware is an Australian nurse who spent several years working in palliative care, caring for patients in the last 12 weeks of their lives. She recorded their dying realizations in a blog called Inspiration and Chai, which gathered so much attention that she put her observations into a book called The Top Five Regrets of the Dying. The most common regret of all was:
I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
It seems that when people realize their life is almost over and look back on it clearly, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not reached even a half of their dreams, and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.
What other people think, especially people you don't even know, doesn't matter. What other people want you to do doesn't matter. Your hopes, your dreams, your goals are important, so live your life your way. Surround yourself with people who support that and who care for the real you. Not what they want you to be.
Make choices that are correct for you, say things you really want to say, to the people who need to hear it. Express your feelings, make GOOD friends, and stay in touch with them, and stop and smell a few roses at times.
Most importantly, realize that happiness is a choice, and 50% of how happy you are lies within your control, so start doing more things that make you happier.
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