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Title : How to Protect Your Health Against Toxic People
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How to Protect Your Health Against Toxic People

by Dr. Ben Kim
Waking Times

Several years ago, I was fortunate to meet a lady named Deborah fasting clinic in northern California. I had several conversations with Deborah in the course of a year, and what I remember most is that his kindness was incredibly genuine - I felt I had done a lot of internal work to identify the principles of life that strove to live
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One day Deborah asked why he chose to eat their meals alone rather than with other guests fasting. After a moment of silence, she told me she was getting some negative vibes from another guest, and she felt it was better for her sleep experience to stay away from that energy. I remember his use of the word "toxic" to describe the energy of the other guests -. Not in a malicious way, but with an observational and reflective tone

thoughts of Deborah in toxic energy avoid unnecessary have stayed with me over the years. I feel that this facet of life is a very underrated determinant of health and quality of life in general. We know that our state of emotional health has constant influence on the health of all organs of our body, particularly our nervous and endocrine systems. And clearly, emotional health is affected largely by our daily interactions with others. So it is logical to think that learning how to identify and deal effectively with toxic influences are important to develop skills in seeking to experience optimal health.

How to identify the toxic behavior

generally speaking, I think it's safe to say that a person is toxic to your health if their behavior makes them feel bad on a regular basis. Clearly, there are exceptions to this rule. For example, if a close friend or family member shares a concern about their behavior in a spirit of wanting to improve your relationship, you may feel bad and sense of emotional well-being may have a temporary success, but do sense to label these friends or family members to be toxic.

the following are the specific patterns of behavior that I think fall into the category "toxic for-your-health"

The attempt to intimidate you by shouting or becoming violent in any way (closing a door is a violent act).
constantly talking down on you, sending the message that he or she is just better than you.
Regularly telling what he or she thinks is what happens to you.
slandering others behind them that is trying to engage in gossip that is detrimental to others.
Spending most of his conversations complaining about his life and others.
to discourage pursue their interests and dreams when you are able to do so without hurting or burdening others.
The attempt to take advantage of his kindness and resources, and trying to make you feel guilty if you do not do what he or she wants.

How to deal with toxic people and behavior

So how do you preserve your health after identifying a person to be toxic to your health? The answer depends on the role the toxic person in your life. Although it is virtually impossible to categorize all those people in clean boxes, I tend to think of them as belonging to one of the following groups:

Group 1: H & G (Hello and goodbye)

examples of people who belong to this category:

the service representatives unpleasant customer
people with the rage
Strangers on the street

How to protect your health against such people:

first, think carefully about your own behavior to see if it may have done or said something that causes the behavior of the other party.
If you can identify something you did that probably offended the other party, if possible, offer a sincere apology. If he or she accepts your apology, things work well for both parties. If your apology is not accepted, you can at least leave with some peace of mind, knowing that he owned until his behavior.
If you can not think of anything you did that might have offended the other hand, he or she give a silent "H & G" and walk away. Faced with the other party on the unfriendly behavior is not likely to be fruitful. Since you do not have to coexist on a regular basis, you can take the way of thinking of "Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me." In other words, the unkind behavior of the other party is in him or her; he or she will reap the natural consequences in due time.

Group 2: No real need to be close, but the contact is often due to life circumstances

Examples of people who belong to this category:

Fellow studies
coworkers
neighbors
members of the groups that meet regularly with (church, book club, sports club, etc.)

How to protect your health against such people:

As before, begin by examining your own behavior to see if you can arrive at a reasonable cause for the unacceptable behavior of the other person . If you can not find a reason for the behavior of the other party, find someone you can trust to be as objective and honest as possible, and explain the conflict as thoroughly and accurately as possible. Ask for honest feedback on how you could have triggered the behavior of the other party. Be sure to indicate that you are not looking for someone to take his hand, but is looking to get an objective reading of the situation.
Where appropriate, apologize for his behavior. If you and your counselor has thought long and hard about the conflict and can not identify anything you need to apologize, work on the development of compassion for the other party.Most will agree that people are not born to be mean and toxic to others. People can become malicious and toxic to others for varying periods of time if they find enough pain, disappointment, or anger in their own journeys. Perhaps the other person is jealous of you and consumed by their own failures. Maybe she's just going through a very rough time due to a loss in the family. Maybe he really never felt imported by someone else. Perhaps the other person has been treated so badly by family members that sensitivity has been numbed and has no idea that you feel you have been mistreated. The idea is to generate enough compassion for the other person to dominate or at least calm your feelings.This injured does not mean you have to be a martyr or a doormat and go asking for another three tight slaps his other cheek. Developing some compassion for the toxic behavior of another person intends to prevent such behavior causes the stew and remain emotionally unbalanced for a long time after the actual moment of conflict. And if the other party has or develops the courage to apologize to you, having a little compassion pre-made available in your heart improves your chances to offer genuine forgiveness and experience the harmony that much more emotional.
Having worked in the development of compassion for the circumstances of the other person, if you have not received an apology, be polite, but do not push for a makeup session. An important part of experiencing emotional balance is learning to teach others who expect to be treated with kindness and respect. To find a makeup session when it has done nothing wrong and the other party has not gathered the courage to apologize is to teach him or that is passable -. It is not a good lesson to give

Group 3: Ideal to be close

Examples of people who belong to this category:

members family immediate
family
Friends who have good reason to respect

How to protect your health against such people:

Go through the first two steps outlined above; try to find out if you did something wrong, and apologize if you can think of something.
While it is important to teach family members and close friends how to expect to be treated, in some cases, it may be necessary for you to seek out a makeup session, even if the other party fails has apologized for his or behavior.For your example, if it was your spouse who mistreated him, and he or she has not apologized, if you know from experience that he or she is not likely to start a conversation that can lead to scarring, and a top priority for that is to have your children grow up in a peaceful environment and above all full of love, it may be better for you to reach first. Arriving for the first time on a stage like this, the hope is that you inspire your partner to the nearest take more responsibility for their actions during the next conflict edge. Clearly, this proactive and almost martyr approach to increase understanding and intimacy is most appropriate in situations where it is deeply committed to the long-term relationship to hand.If you are currently struggling in your relationship with someone who belongs to this category, I hope you find one or more of the following items to be useful: use honesty to build a good relationship understanding of love the main language of the partner How to forgive someone who has hurt you

If you have any ideas on how to deal effectively with people who can be toxic to your health, I encourage you to share them in the comments section . Just as the behavior of Deborah encouraged me several years ago, I hope these thoughts that encourage embrace the journey of learning how to protect against toxic behavior.

I also hope that these thoughts serve as a reminder that we all have the ability to display behavior that can be toxic to others. Remain conscious of this fact can only help minimize the potential we have to bring others down.

"How to Protect Your Health Against Toxic People", article source: riseearth.com

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