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Title : Why We Need to Stop Hiding and Let People See Who We Are
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Why We Need to Stop Hiding and Let People See Who We Are

Liz Goodchild
Tiny Buddha

"help yourself, be yourself." ~ Dave Pelzer

I spent much of my life being someone else. In the role of someone who is not fully recognized.

Looking back, there were a lot of reasons why they avoided being me, being the suicide of my mother one of them.

His death I marked, like a rock in a glass, and my life as I knew it, did not seem at once met.


I was ashamed to be the girl whose mother abandoned her violently. What would people think? Maybe she did not love me enough to stay? I did not do enough to help? That was not enough of a daughter with her?

started thinking that maybe I was not enough, period. I was a bad person somehow. Because if you're a bad person, people do not want to be near you. They just up and leave. And that's what he did.

When you do not feel enough, there are anywhere and everywhere rather be right there with oneself.

I became a master of escape from myself and put on an act in order to feel accepted. He accepted by people he believed would think things about me that I do not want you to think. I was too afraid to let people see the real me because he believed that true I was so obviously fundamentally flawed.

My escape artist act age of twenty worsened when I realized that I was gay.

I wanted to hide . I did not want people to know. I felt different from others, people who already felt different because their mothers were still alive and kicking, and certainly did not kill themselves.

And so I pretended, again.

is difficult, not pretending to be gay.

People ask questions and get curious. About why you do not have a boyfriend. Or why you spend so much time with his friend, "Are you sure of what you see each other a lot. You are practically joined at the hip, right?"

I spent a lot of questions in diversion time . My answers, they were always lies, became a shield that I hid behind.

And as my lies got bigger, it became smaller, crouching behind the shield until I could not see over or about him anymore.

had completely lost sight of who I was.

And lose sight of me was the emptiest feeling, most isolation I experienced. It felt like I was living my life behind a glass screen, as if it was not quite there, unable to take anything in.

I was massively sure what I liked or not you She liked it, and was afraid to say what he thought. I mean, who was I to say? What did I know anyway? My thoughts and opinions felt warm and gray. It is not enough to add heat or a splash of color to a conversation.

I did not dare to try new things. I stuck to the same routine. Avoid anything that challenged me to be challenged mean that creeps behind the shield, and I would be too exposed, and this could mean that people would see I did not want to see.

And all we do, right? Somewhere in your life right now is an area that is preventing. A place hidden in the background, a part of you that do not want other people to know or see.

So do not talk about it, attention is drawn. Being the life and soul of the party, even though you're actually not laughing inside.

Or in your car bright flash that driving faster than it should, because it is the only way you never feel really alive .

or relationships with others-where you spend much time caring for them so they do not have to take care of himself, and however it feels the quiet resentment creeping up when you do not empty the dishwasher or thanks for dinner you did.

we avoid exposing what we really are, while at the same time, not knowing who we really are.

However, the reason why so often do not know what we are is because we are not being what we are.

More than ten years later, I know this. And now I see how, gradually, and without realizing it at the time, I slowly came out from behind the shield that had protected me for so long.

The shield that had protected me from me.

"Figure out what you want from your life," A friend advised. "Just getting to know himself."

"How the hell did I do that, though?" I asked.

"Just doing things. Anything!"

And so I did. There were no big jumps, adventure, nothing special to write. I just let my curiosity, even if it was just a hint of curiosity, to guide me.

First, I started doing things I had never done before, like going to the movies alone, or for lunch, with only a book for company. I have read, indirectly, mostly in the bathroom, mountains of books self-development

wanted to understand myself better.; know why I did the things I did and thought things I thought.

In later months, I joined a barbershop chorus harmony (which does not last long) and enrolled in a five-kilometer race and I started a blog that eventually became a website a place where I could write openly about life and being human.

and slowly, very slowly, my life began to show signs color again, and we did not use the shield so much. All the things I was doing things "just doing!" It was where I discovered who I was.

spend so much time looking outside ourselves to find what we are, because it's easier that way.

When you do not have to get in the line, when we have to say how we really feel we can get to avoid the things that we, as humans, we found very convenient. Things like conflicts, which have a difficult conversation, ask for what we need or offend someone.

We will not fail and spoil and risk. We have the opportunity to prevent people disagreeing with us and our opinion, be different, be "weird." Truly be what we are.

And yet, we can not really know what we are without being what we are.

Only by being what we can experience the connection to life, to others, and most importantly, ourselves.

woman face images hide via Shutterstock

About the author:

Liz Goodchild is a life coach. She helps people improve their lives. (Think: Getting unstuck, decisions that feel good, and do things that they believe can not.) Can more than Liz found in Facebook and website
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"Why We Need to Stop Hiding and Let People See Who We Are", article source: riseearth.com

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