Title : 4 Things Your Relationship Failures Are Trying To Tell You
link : 4 Things Your Relationship Failures Are Trying To Tell You
4 Things Your Relationship Failures Are Trying To Tell You
4 things that failures in relationships are trying to tell you
Most of us know at least one person who seems unable to maintain a relationship long-term. Partners appear and disappear with surprising regularity and may be apparently legitimate reasons for their disappearance. Why do some people seem to always choose the wrong partner? Perhaps the answer lies in the individual and not the partner of choice.
The bad image of himself
Although a person can be attractive, talented, and nice, he or she may have unresolved issues that prohibit the development of a lasting relationship. My friend, Sally M., lost her son at an early age, which also caused the disappearance of his first marriage.
Subsequently, this bright, outgoing, and talented woman lost her address, she had two failed marriages, plus several affairs with married men, and many short-term relationships. After three years of therapy, she was able to be in a committed relationship without fleeing at the first sign of difficulty.
Sometimes, an individual a partner who has intentionally selected problems. The reason is twofold:
· The other is defective and can help fix these defects, therefore, I am a good person, and
· The other person has flaws that are worse than mine so I'm not so bad
Neither justification is correct, but may falsely build self-esteem of the individual. Mike C. was an alcoholic who perpetually find fault with their partners, or they were too stupid, too fat, too lazy, or a myriad of other perceived failures. In fact, none of the faults existed, but assigning them to their partners, he reasoned that the partner has needed basis so your drink was not so bad.
The partners are not available
Often, individuals members who are not available for one or more reasons will be selected. The couple will marry, a priest, disinterested, geographically impractical, and so on. Usually, a person who consistently select partners unavailable is also available.
Another reason for selecting a partner available is the escape from reality it is. easy to fantasize about potential life and the couple would be like if I could change what you want them to be. Allen S. fell in love with a woman who was married and had three children. Although he was deeply in love with her husband and devoted himself to his children, Allen continually fantasized about what life would be like if he were to leave her husband and children and become his. Allen was finally persuaded to seek professional help and now has a beautiful wife and a family.
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Unrealistic expectations
the media and social media can provide unrealistic expectations of a relationship. Financial difficulties, problems of labor and employment, external influences, and so on, is overlooked in an hour or less, coping methods are often immature and intended audience appeal rather than reality. minimum wage workers in new car cars and live in houses design. Although these are not realistic, which often are the basis of expectations relationship.
Gladys T. has a loving husband who is faithful and loves. He does not project to provide it with material possessions as his brothers provide for their wives and complains often about this. Her husband is bright and provides for it to the best of their ability. She, however, is never happy and never sought professional help. Both of them live their lives in a miserable marriage because neither belief in divorce.
versus Fiction Fantasy
Sometimes we "fell in love" rather than enter into a relationship with our eyes open. During the initial stages of attraction of a relationship, it is easy to overlook the inconsistencies such as religious beliefs, lack of consideration, substance abuse, etc., because they can be minimized as a rare event.
However, whenever a partner exhibits unacceptable behavior early in the relationship, it is prudent to step back, even if it is a painful step. We all want to think that he or she is "the one", because breakups are painful. Linda D. almost lost her children to the state because your partner verbally abused both her and the children. His supposedly rare binges became daily and she and her children had to move out of state and obtain a restraining order against him. Linda had been more cautious at the beginning of the relationship, the result would have been substantially better for all concerned.
All of us have made bad relationship choices at one time or another. However, the better our own image, the better decisions you will ever make. Whatever it takes to heal and recover from the traumas of the past, it is well worth it in the end. You will enjoy your life more and make better decisions and be a better partner.
"4 Things Your Relationship Failures Are Trying To Tell You", article source: positivemed.com
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